i can let some anger in, as long as I manage it.
I have to ensure that it doesn't control my life, and it doesn't get to take over my life. but there does need to be a sense of it. the knowledge and acceptance of it.
and the ability to focus it.
the roaring ain't the problem. it’s the intention behind the roaring that matters most. do we Roar to overpower and control others and demand that things go our way, or do we use it instead to POWER ourselves and get our own arses in gear?
big dif. similar costume.
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I actually think it'd be best if I let myself feel anger More Often, not less.
most people are trying to lessen theirs, but not me.
I know the Power and the Awesomeness of using my Anger in wise, focused, passionate ways, that work for me, and everyone in my life... or most everyone.
no matter what we do, some will not be Ok with us. judgments are cheap and easy to come by. that's ok. it's even ok if they express their not-ok-ness to us, if done in a respectful and honest manner.
we need to learn to protect ourselves, emotionally. That does NOT mean that we go around Afraid, and in fear of getting Hurt, or abandoned, or mis-understood. It means that we have the Ability to control what hurts us. we are not victims.
It is Our Job to Teach Others how to be with us!
true mastery of emotional intelligence is about knowing that others often don't know, and can therefore lose their grip on themselves, their behavrious and their Mouth, sometimes.
how do WE deal with Cluelessness?
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Challenge:
it's easy to judge and disconnect from those we don't agree with...
wanna try something new? try NOT disconnecting, NO MATTER what. try making the Connection the point and the goal of the whole relationship. try not to disconnect, ever, and if you do, re-connect again, quickly and completely. the connection is called intimacy.
that's a key… friendship is about connection. Family is about connection. Lovers are about connection.
Pets are about connection. Kids are about connection. Community is about connection. America is about connection.
perhaps we would be wise to explore this area further, don't-cha-think?
so, please share with me some of the ways that you have found to stay connected, or to re-connect, with the people you love.
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on a side note, one of the Coolest things that I have learned in my never-ending quest for EQ, is that simply having the CHOICE to connect, or not, has been so totally FREEing for me, personally.
with my abandonment issues, I believed that I "had" to connect, with everyone, everytime, which is a) impossible, b) incredibly tiring to try to achieve, and c) most painful failing that many times! so I found that if, instead, I CHOOSE NOT to connect with someone, at any given time, to disconnect with the other people when I believe they are acting badly and/or not feeling safe to me.
I can have boundaries, and I can choose to NOT open my heart to some, while at the same time being Wonderfully and Gloriously OPEN to others !! ((and feel totally clean and honest doing it))
ha.
most very cool.
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