Emotional Intelligence 101: Taming the Beast Within!

Emotional Awareness

Awareness is the first key to all change!

“Relative to the level of awareness that is possible for us, our ordinary state of consciousness is as far from a direct experience of reality as sleep is from waking consciousness.”

-- Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson

“The thought ‘I exist’ is not the same thing as the awareness of one’s own existence. … Thought is not the same thing as consciousness.”

-- Jacob Needleman

A person asked Buddha:
“Are you a God?”
Buddha’s reply was
“No.”
“Are you an Angel?”
“No.”
“Then what are you?”
“I am Awake.”

Awareness is the key to all change. Take our 30 day Journey of Self Awareness email series to uncover new dimensions of who you are. Open to your own inner wisdom.

Judgments and Expectations

Judgments and expectations.  I've learned that everyone has them about themselves and about others.  I've been told that I need to lose the judgments and expectations that I have.  I've realized that I don't need to lose them.  I do need to be aware that I have them.  I do need to accept the consequences if I choose to let them influence how I treat others and myself.  I do agree that if I didn't have any judgments or expectations, my life would be different but not necessarily better.  If my expectations weren't so high, I wouldn't be disappointed so often and feel hurt so often.  If my judgments didn't exist, I may actually end up being hurt more since I would not protect myself from people who mean me harm.

We have said a number of times that feelings are not good or bad, they just are.  I also say that judgments and expectations are not good or bad, they just are.  The behaviors that result from the feelings, the judgments, and the expectations can be evaluated as either good or bad.  I once had a person tell me that I am one of the least judgmental people he had met.  I laughed at him.  I am extremely judgmental.  I was raised by a mother who was and is extremely judgmental and is very vocal in expressing her judgments and her disappointments when you don't satisfy her expectations.  The major difference between me and my mother is that I work very hard at accepting people as they are even with the judgments and expectations I have placed on them.  I am not always successful and it's easier for me to accept others than it is to accept myself.  I am often hurt and disappointed.  I do my best to learn from my disappointments and realize that people will not respond in the way I expect and to increase my understanding of the different kinds of responses that exist that had never occurred to me before.

The expectations that I have set for myself are very high.  I've been very fortunate in that I have been able to meet my expectations fairly consistently.  But it is also a source of pain.  People have come to see me as a very strong person and as a person they can rely on to be there when they need someone to lean on or someone to get the job done.  They can accept me when I am that person.  But I'm also human and it's not possible for me to always be strong and always be upbeat.  I also have my moments, days, weeks where I don't feel strong and I don't have the energy to spare to be there for them.  Those times I find out who my true friends are - the people who are willing to stand by me and let me lean on them during my darkest times.  It hurts to only be accepted by most people when I am strong and rejected when I am weak.  Especially when I know that there are times when being weak is where I need to be.

     Sue Wiseman

What is Happiness?

I liked this article and thought it was a very good way of explaining what Happiness is...

"I have found that happiness is not something we look for and not something that is "out there" or out of our reach. Rather, it is about being present with what IS. It is about being grateful for what already exists in our life. Happiness is a moment- to- moment choice to focus on the beauty and abundance in our lives rather than on the lack.

When we focus on the abundance that already exists in our life, our heart expands...and when our heart is expanded, we feel more alive and at peace with ourselves and the world. I think happiness is A PRACTICE. When we move through our lives with a greater sense of appreciation and reverie for what is, then we cannot help but have an expanded experience of this world.

Happiness is not about feeling jovial all the time but rather it is about embracing the full spectrum of our humanity. It is as much about embracing our sadness, our pain and our 'lows' as it is about celebrating our joys and our 'highs'. I have found that gratitude is a potent key that opens the door to the compassion, love and acceptance that resides within our own hearts.

When we are willing to let go of the judgments we hold about ourselves, others and the world at large and move into a place of gratitude for the many different ways we get to relate to an-other and learn about ourselves and others, we are presented with the opportunity to hold every-thing in the light of our own compassion.

This allows us to BE in happiness, touch it and experience it in a very palpable way.

May your days be filled with much joy!

Tal
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About the author:
Tal Shai, MA (Counseling Psychology with an emphasis in Spiritual Psychology) is an Intuitive Life Coach who helps people all over the planet create the life of their dreams. She is the author of the Intuition Heart Cards and Guidebook, an interactive tool designed to support groups and individuals access their inner guidance.

Bring soul into the world

"We live in a culture that is greatly biased against the imagination, because our culture is very materialistic, objective and literal. Our culture lacks soul, and doesn't know it, although it experiences the consequences. When you don't know what's missing, then of course you don't know what to bring in, even though you feel something is missing."

 

"We live in a world that needs more soul, more meaning. We, as conscious beings, have, as our primary responsibility, at this time in human history, the task of bringing soul into the world, or releasing soul into the world. We do this, first of all, in ourselves and in our own personal world; then we do it in our groups, including family; then we do it in our society through our work, relationships and presence there.

- Andrew Schneider

Our Feelings = Our Soul:  Want more soul in your life?  Get in touch with your feelings!

 

from http://www.HigherAwareness.com

 

 

Emotional Safety

Creating Emotional Safety within an aware, loving group of people is one of the most amazing feelings one can possibly experience, and one of the very BEST ways to heal, quickly and effectively!

“A group of humans becomes healing and converting only after its members have learned to stop trying to heal and convert. Community is a safe place when no one is attempting to heal or convert you, to fix you, to change you. Instead, the members accept you as you are. You are free to be you.. And being so free, you are free to discard defenses, masks, disguises; free to seek your own psychological and spiritual health; free to become your whole and holy self.”

-- Scott Peck, author of the classic personal growth book The Road Less Travelled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth

10 Steps to Unlocking "The Secret"

Here are some steps to take to get more Abundance into your life:

1. Clear Your Mind
2. Decide What You Want
3. Ask For It
4. Visualize Having It
5. Express and Feel Gratitude
6. Let Go of Control
7. Stay Positive
8. Be Patient
9. Invite It In
10. Share the Wealth

by Rhonda herself (I think).

Translating

I've found that the Language of Emotional Intelligence is different than regular English, spoken on the streets and in our homes and workplaces.

People say things like:
"I feel..."
"I believe..."
"How am I not being clear?"
"I hear you."
"I'm listening."
"How can I be clearer so you'll understand better?"

and the language of the more Advanced EQ is about Translating what low EQ folks are actually saying. The point is to be able to take stupid, rash, blaming, sarcastic, degrading and other negative forms of communications and TRANSLATE them into Feeling-speak... the Language of EQ.

For example: someone says, "you're an ass."
translation: "I'm an ass, or at least I'm afraid I might be, and I don't want to admit that to myself or for heaven's sake, anyone else, so I am calling you one, rather than me."
action choices: show compassion and understanding for the low-life they are, leave, punch 'em in the face, or smile & close up your heart towards them as an unsafe person.

Learn to translate the language of the clueless, into the language of the heart-aware, and you'll be miles ahead!

The Other Energy Crises, by Jon Gordon

The Other Energy Crises

Powerful article on how emotional intelligence (EQ) in the workplace, again, is more important than IQ!

"Today’s employees are under-engaged, overtired and overstressed.

The fact is that enhanced energy, success and performance cannot be found in a can of Red Bull or a cup of espresso. Instead of being energy drainers, American businesses must focus on becoming power generators.

One of the most significant actions managers can take is to implement programs and practices that develop positive, high-performing employees and teams that are fueled by purpose and enthusiasm.

One of the great role models of this business philosophy and practice is Howard Schultz and Starbucks. From the very beginning, Schultz realized and trained his managers that they weren’t in the coffee business serving people but rather in the people business serving coffee.

read on...

(nasdaq: SBUX - news - people ).