Emotional Intelligence 101: Taming the Beast Within!

Be a Great Leader - Know yourself and your Peeps

All great leaders have one characteristic in common – they have a high degree of Emotional Intelligence.

- Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence, 1995

Emotional Success, the movie

Personal Success
- a young dude, maybe 17 or 18. hand on door, to step inside -- himself!
- - show him reliving certain childhood events that were big for him, emotionally,
- - - watch him stuff his feelings, and deny them, and gloss over them
- - - - then watch his unresolved feelings transform his thoughts from happy to sad, from hopeful to mad.
- - - - - - and have him think out-loud his new beliefs & conclusions.

like:
"i am alone."
and
"no one understands me."
and
"no one wants me."

- - - - - - and show the results of that... (yucko)
- - - - - then see him realize his original pain
- - - and feel it. and release it.
- - then see him choose a different belief, a New Direction, if you will.
- and experience the joy and closeness available there, without pretense, without masks, without fear.

have a situation come up again.
- but this time, handle it differently, with a dif. Attitude. a different Belief system. a different Goal, and hopefully, a different Result.

THAT's called Emotional Success, or Personal Success.

Animator vs Animation

Check out this movie... just for fun... very clever! 
Enjoy.  - Matt

The Animator vs. his Animation
http://alanbecker.deviantart.com/art/Animator-vs-Animation-34244097

Animator vs. Animation by *alanbecker on deviantART

You are not alone!

Our first and last love is - self-love.

- Bovee

It's all about you! It's all about love. It's all about you, loving you.

If you cannot, or do not, love yourself, how can you ask someone else to do something you are unwilling to do?

Find love for yourself within yourself. Ask your Higher Power for help. You are not alone.

When you have shut your doors and darkened your room, remember, never to say that you are alone; for you are not alone, but God is within, and your genius is within.

- Epictetus

F.E.A.R.

Does my Fear control me, or do I control my Fear?

As always, I have some choices in how handle my Fear?
Do I:

Fight Everything And Run
   or
Face Everything And Recover

I try to go towards my emotional Fears, not away from them. I will no longer be afraid of my own feelings. My fear is conquerable. My fear is understandable. My fear is valuable. I must get to know my body, and understand, and manage, how it handles fear -- to ensure that it is working for me, not against me.

"We get through Fear by doing what we are afraid to do."
- Doc Downing, PhD, LMFT

Super-Learning Mode

"Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can - there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did."

- Sarah Caldwell

Learning is fun.  Learning is free (usually).  Learning is life.  Learn-learn-learn!

My favorite clients/friends are in what I call "Super-Learning Mode".  It's a state, often immediately following a big emotional breakthrough like we do at ND class, where people learn from ANYthing that happens, good or bad, young or old, in sickness and in health.

The keys for me are:

• Willingness - to feel whatever my body wants/needs to feel
• Faith - believing the pain will pass, to be replaced with peace, and freedom
• Humble-nicity - I don't know everything there is to know, esp. about my feelings
• Courage - it's not always fun, but it's gotta get done.
• Emotional Maturity - knowing I've been to the depths of my feelings, and I can handle whatever comes up for me.

"All men should strive to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why. "

- James Thurber

Is it all just a fancy Sales pitch?

I believe some think I sound like I'm 'hawking my wares', trying to Sell people on these powerful emotional intelligence concepts... that's 'cause I am! 

I don't know how else to put it so that people will believe me to the point that they will go inside themselves to make the difficult, sometimes painful, changes they need to make/emotional work they need to do. 

I jump up and down about it, 'cause that's how I feel about it, and that's how IMPORTANT this stuff is.

dammit.

I'm Scared.

I'm really scared.  I'm scared that people are hurting out there, and we have some keys to healing, but they don't know that, and keep on hurting because of us.  Because of our inability to sum it up, and get the point across.  succinctly, powerfully and life-changingly.

We don't even have much for sale.
We're not really even selling anything, except for a Concept.  An Attitude.  An Idea.  A Feeling.

but what we do have is a Lot of experience, with a Lot of people, in real life, that are Happier than they were before.  They have learned some new emotionally-based concepts and lessons, are putting them to work for themselves and their families (at no charge, btw), and they are Happier, more aware, more Alive, and more hopeful than their counterparts.

Emotional Intelligence is the key to Happiness and Success in Life!
period.

Do I have a bunch of scientific or statistical proof?  not too much.

Do I have a bunch of empirical or experiencial proof?  Yes sir!  tons of it.  a generation of it.  a city full of it.

Among our success stories, we have gov't employees and entrepreneurs and therapists and social workers.  We have teenagers and adults and elders.  We have mom, dads, kids and families.  We have a complete total cross-section of American life, from 14-90, both men and women (tho' mostly women).

Chances are, you're pretty clueless in the area of yours and others' Feelings and Emotions. am I right? (especially us guys!)

There is nothing... NOTHING... that we can do to more quickly and effectively improve our world and the worlds of the ones we love.

Please learn what you can about your Feelings and Emotions. Then go inside yourself and make it real, take it to heart, and make it work for yourself, your family, your friends and your world. You will amazed.

There's hope!  and now there's tons of information on this subject.

Emotional Intelligence (often called EQ, like IQ) is the Key.

and

EQ > IQ

don't forget.

Make People Feel Important

"Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, Make Me Feel Important. Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life."

- Mary Kay Ash

Pay Attention to your Emotions!

"Emotions are the next frontier to be understood and conquered. To manage our emotions is not to drug them or suppress them, but to understand them so that we can intelligently direct our emotional energies and intentions.... It's time for human beings to grow up emotionally, to mature into emotionally managed and responsible citizens. No magic pill will do it."

-- Doc Childre

Many of us believe that we need to keep a tight lid on our emotions. We fear that if we ever allow these emotions to be expressed, they will do serious damage.

But if we summon up the courage to truly feel our emotions, we discover that they don't last. The monster in the closet turns out to be a pussycat. In fact, if we are willing to experience our emotions completely, without resistance of any kind, they burn themselves out in only a few minutes.

The only thing that keeps emotions alive within you over long periods is your unwillingness to acknowledge them.

"By starving emotions we become humorless, rigid and stereotyped; by repressing them we become literal, reformatory and holier-than-thou; encouraged, they perfume life; discouraged, they poison it."

-- Joseph Collins

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