Violating Anger vs. Liberating Anger
Violating Anger:
Speak about "you"
Comes from a feeling of Powerlessness
Has a twist
Manipulates the truth
Has a hidden agenda
Attacks to hurt
Blames and proves "guilt"
Is a weapon
Seeks to discredit the other as a person
Has no accountability
Hides behind innocence
Is righteously superior
Assumes another's motives
Needs a villain
Refuses to claim anything
Seeks to punish
Uses information to make a case against the other
Fears exposure
Leads to abuse
Alienates and violates
Liberating Anger:
Speaks about "I"
Comes from a feeling of Power
Is straight-forward
Seeks the relief of honest self-expression
Wants to discover the truth
Expresses the hurt and anger
Confronts
Is a tool
Seeks to expose
Demands accountability
Chooses not to hide
Is adamant
Never assumes motives
Rejects villains
Claims its part
Determines consequences for itself
Uses information for clarity and understanding
Values exposure
Leads to intimacy
Liberates
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Adele B. Lynn: The Emotional Intelligence Activity Book: 50 Activities for Promoting Eq at Work
Daniel Goleman: Primal Leadership: Realizing the Power of Emotional Intelligence
- David Viscott: The Language of Feelings
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