Emotional Intelligence 101: Taming the Beast Within!

Emotional Beliefs

"It is hard to let old emotional beliefs go. They are familiar. We are comfortable with them and have spent years building systems and developing habits that depend on them. Like a man who has worn eyeglasses so long that he forgets he has them on, we forget that the world looks to us the way it does because we have become used to seeing it that way through a particular set of lenses. Today, however, we need new lenses. And we need to throw the old ones away." - Kenich Ohmae

Be Yourself!

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

- Dr. Seuss

“What you must dare is to be yourself.”

- Dag Hammarskjold

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcomings, who knows the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows in the end the high achievement of triumph and who, at worst, if he fails while daring greatly, knows his place shall never be with those timid and cold souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

- Theodore Roosevelt

Happiness

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude."

- Denis Waitley

"The great Western disease is, "I'll be happy when..." When I get the money. When I get a BMW. When I get this job. Well, the reality is, you never get to when. The only way to find happiness is to understand that happiness is not out there. It's in here. And happiness is not next week. It's NOW."

- Marshall Goldsmith

"The key to Happiness is learning about, dealing with and honoring your Feelings & Emotions.  If you can accept your Feelings, you can accept yourSELF!"

- Matt Perelstein

We have Choices! LOTS of Choices!

"By becoming a conscious choice-maker, you begin to generate actions that are evolutionary for you."

- Deepak Chopra

GOOD NEWS:  You probably have way more Choices, emotionally, than you ever thought possible!!

• You can Choose to be Happy.   
• You can Choose to NOT be a victim. 
• You can Choose to let go of your Anger and Sadness, and even Guilt and Shame. 
• You can Choose to live your life from a position of Power, not a position of lack, or less than.

You can Choose all these things because you are FREE.  Free to believe, and act, and respond, and react, and love EXACTLY as you choose to.  What a wonderful feeling!  We have very little control over what others do or say... but we have TOTAL control over what we do, or say, or believe.

"No one can go back and make a brand new start.  Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending!"

- Unknown

Make it happen... for yourself, for your family, for your friends... but most of all, for yourself.

Go get 'em.
- Matt

Quotes on Self-Awareness

“Self-knowledge is the great power by which we comprehend and control our lives.”

- Vernon Howard

"It is not enough to have great qualities, we should also have the management of them."

- Francois de La Rochefoucald

"There isn't a ruler, a yard stick or a measuring tape in the entire world long enough to compute the strength and capabilities inside you!"

- Paul J. Meyer

“I don’t think God cares where we were graduated or what we did for a living. God wants to know who we are. Discovering this is the work of the soul – it is our true life’s work.”

- Bernie Siegel

"He who has done his best for his own time has lived for all times."

– Friedrich Schiller, 1759-1805, German Poet/Historian/Dramatist

eBook Development

Taming the Beast Within
"Harness the power of your feelings & emotions to become a great Friend, a passionate Lover and a profoundly Happy Person."

New Book Development Outline...

Top 10 Lessons -- tell at least 1 story in each one
Introduction
- Success comes from Happiness, not the other way around
- Wanna be rich?  wanna be happy?  wanna be successful?  wanna get laid?  These all have to do with getting in touch with your Feelings & Emotions.  understanding them.  Controlling them.  managing them.
- Sell they what they want, but give them what they need.  You wanna be successful in your life… to do that, you have to understand yourself, your inner workings, your feelings, your beliefs, your values, your heart and your mind.
- You've got to heal.  And in order to heal,

Chapters
- Personal Responsibility is the only way to go
If you don't have this, the rest is irrelevant.  If you want to whine and blame and be a victim, that's ok… but stop reading now.  Until you're ready to take FULL responsibility for how you choose to live your life, from this day forward, you will be unhappy, powerless

- Feelings are the key!
EQ / EI is essential
Feelings are a good thing, not a bad thing
Understand, Accept and Express big feelings and emotions
The 7 steps to healing your feelings

- Your relationship with yourself is THE most important relationship in your life!
Trust, compassion, acceptance, love, empathy, kindness

- Basic Communication Skills
"I" messages
Shut up and Listen
Acceptance does not necessarily mean Agreement

- Love really is the answer
You have to Trust someone, yourself first
Love is letting go of Fear
Trust and Verify
Helping people is the most rewarding profession on the planet!

- Awareness is the first key to change
Commit to be in a "Learning Mode", always and forever

- Guilt and Shame are both optional

- Manage your Anger and Depression
Anger is a huge source of personal Power
Anger is a secondary emotion -- we always feel something else first.
Depression is Anger turned Inward

- Control your Fear
Unbridled fear can, and has, ruined more lives than any other emotion
- You probably have way more emotional choices than you may believe possible

Conclusion

Feeling Quotes

"The trouble with life isn't that there is no answer, it's that there are so many answers."

- Ruth Benedict

Did is a word of achievement,
Won't is a word of retreat,
Might is a word of bereavement,
Can't is a word of defeat.

Ought is a word of duty,
Try is a word of each hour,
Will is a word of beauty,
Can is a word of power.

---

“For peace of mind, we need to resign as general manager of the universe.”

- Larry Eisenberg

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
- Mark Twain

"If you view all the things that happen to you, both good and bad, as opportunities, then you operate out of a higher level of consciousness." - Les Brown

Feelings and "I Messages"

"How to Express Difficult Feelings", by Dr. Larry Alan Nadig, Ph.D.
http://www.drnadig.com/feelings.htm

In these instructions, Dr. Nadig explains nicely how to do one of the most powerful verbal Communication skills we know of for expressing our feelings clearly and with personal responsiblility... the use of "I" Messages.

Using "I" Messages ("I feel...", "I believe...", "I would like...") we can express ourselves, get our feelings across and, if done correctly, NEVER get in arguments again -- as feelings are not debatable -- we feel what we feel and there's nothing to argue about.

Along with our super-powerful (and super-secret) Communication tool called "Shut up and Listen!", learning, practicing and using "I Messages" can change your life and your relationships... Try 'em!

Good luck with it all.
- Matt