Emotional Intelligence 101: Taming the Beast Within!

Why some men are more aggressive than others

Article:
Genes plus environment during childhood may help explain bad behavior

The study findings imply that even though a child may have a genetically related increased susceptibility for conduct problems, affectionate and loving parents can negate this increased susceptibility, Manuck said. “We can’t change our genes, but perhaps we can change our rearing environment.

Full Article:  http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13596804/

Take Responsibility for your Life!

"The difference between great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively waiting to see where life takes them next. The difference between the two is the difference between living fully and just existing."
- Michael E. Gerber

Believe!

Believe in yourself and don't give up on your ideas, squash your passions or discount your feelings.

"A new idea is a delicate thing. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a quip; it can be worried to death by a frown on the right man's brow."

- Charles Browner

Believe in others. Some people are out to hurt people but MOST are not!

"I always prefer to believe the best of everybody - it saves so much trouble."

- Rudyard Kipling

Believe in your beliefs, values and loves. You are the most important person to YOU and only YOU can make your life WORK!

"Successful communication = stating your truth, simply and with Love."

- unknown

Good luck with it all. - Matt

Loving Fearlessly

"When we love fearlessly, we can experience our feelings in all their depth and passion without letting them control us.

We can recognize that feelings are not facts, they are reactions to the world."

- Coach Rhonda Britten, 'Fearless Loving'
http://www.fearlessliving.org/shop_online/merchandise/books/fearless_loving

Ego is the Enemy of Self-Awareness

As I have grown emotionally, I've found that I am severly co-dependant, fairly wimpy, sometimes mean, have ADHD, and often lost and lack direction.  ouch.

"Enlightenment is ego’s ultimate disappointment."

-- Chögyam Trungpa

Think about it, it's true!  As you learn more and more about yourself -- about your issues, your "unconscious mechanisms", your pet peeves, your angers, your fears -- and you are willing to be truly Honest with yourself -- you will probably find that your EGO is going to take a pretty big hit.

Can you handle your Ego?  Or do you need to be Right, and Good, and perfect at all times?  Are you going to let your Ego and Pride get in your way of being honest and real with yourself? 

If you're wrong, fine... fix it.  If you're being mean, ok... stop it.  If you find out that you have more emotional issues than you thought, good, it's a chance to grow and heal... deal with them.

"Simple kindness to one's self and all that lives is the most powerful transformational force of all."

- Dr. David Hawkins (learn more)

Give yourself the gift of allowing yourself to be wrong sometimes.  It can be incredibly  free-ing and life-enhancing!

Feel it!

"Sense. Understand. Adapt."

- a new Adidas Commercial

Same goes for our Feelings.

1. Sense that a big feeling is forming inside your body.
2. Understand what's happenin' inside you.
3. Adapt to it.  Learn from it.  Express it.  Relieve it.

simple, yet incredibly effective!

Tired of being Scared & Shy all the time?

Fear can be so pervasive.

Are you sick and tired of feeling scared, afraid or fearful every day?

That can get sooo old!  Worried about other people -- what they think of you, what they might do to you, how they might react to you.  It can totally ruin your life experience. 

I used to live in a constant state of near-panic.  Jumpy, edgy, fearful, afraid of people, afraid of what might happen and unsure that I could handle it, afraid of not having enough (enough money, enough strength, enough courage).  It stunk, bad.

So what are the alternatives?

• Learn to Face your fears, head on.
• Learn how to identify, express and Conquer your fears
• Find your internal Personal Power (so you don't feel wimpy and little)
• Find out how to TRUST YOURSELF.
• Try not to generalize your fears (not ALL people are out to get you... maybe only 1 or 2)
• Find your personal Anger, as it can do wonders to help keep you Strong, and Safe
• Know that all fear has an "object", which means that you are always afraid "of" something.  What is it?  What's your mind's Picture of what might happen?  You can change that picture.  Do it.
• Carry a weapon (if need be)

Take steps to learn more about your fears and how to overcome them.  Fears can consciously or unconsciously effect your daily life, your decisions, your goals, your relationships -- Everything!

Meet them.  Face them.  Beat them.  They are inside of you and they are "just feelings" that you are TOTALLY in control of, given the right tools.

You can do it.  Be brave.

Selling Success vs. Happiness

It's a tough sale, selling "feelings" and "happiness". 

It's much easier to sell "Success", "Career Advancement", "Increased Sales" or "Business Advancement", as these all make people more money.

Just being "happier" and "Feeling better" seem too mushy and intangible, I guess.  I can show you example after example of how people who have gotten better in touch with their feelings and what's going inside themselves have found out who they REALLY are, and have thus achieved better Success and Made more Money.  But it's still a harder sell.

"Success doesn't breed Happiness.  Happiness breeds Success."

So, when we talk about feeling better about yourself, about getting clearer on your goals and who you are, and about healing your past so you can create a better future, remember that ALL OF THESE make you more money and lead to a more successful life in many ways.

Trust me, it works!

How to Reduce Stress!

Did you know that most of our STRESS is due to either unresolved Fear or Anger?

That's great news, I think! That means that all we need to do is be able to handle our fears and our angers and we can live pretty Stress-free from here on.

Fear is about the Future. We're not usually afraid of what already happened -- we're afraid of what's gonna happen, or what might happen.

Anger is about the Past (and possibly some in the present). We're not usually angry about something that hasn't happened yet, we're usually upset about something that already happened, or that's happening now (but mostly past).

Soooo, STRESS is either our body feeling left over Anger about the Past, or feeling Fear about the Future. Most likely, if you look around you and really take in what's happening RIGHT THIS MINUTE, you'll find that you are ok, you are safe, and you have little to be Stressed about.

Try to live in the moment. Let go of the past. Access your Personal Power so you aren't so afraid of the future.

You're ok -- right now -- in the moment. Breathe out stress, breathe in peace and joy. You can do it. Breathe.