Emotional Intelligence 101: Taming the Beast Within!

Maintaining Balance - Full Tanks and Empty Tanks

Our family has 2 cars, a Pontiac Grand Prix (which I love – wider IS better!) and a motorhome (1998 30’ Fleetwood Bounder – which we spend a LOT of time in and we’ve put over 60,000 miles on). Driving a motorhome that much brings with it special considerations - like parking, and gas consumption, and filling and emptying of storage tanks. Well, I got to thinking that these tanks are like life… when the motorhome is happiest is when…

“The tanks that are supposed to be full are full, and the tanks that are supposed to be empty are empty.”

Tanks I want to keep FULL, as much as I can:
For the motorhome:
- Gas to drive
- Water to drink and bathe
- Propane to cook, heat and refrigerate
- Tools to fix, repair and improve

For Life:
- Love
- Self-esteem
- Personal Power
- Emotional toolbox
- Choices and opportunities
- Courage
- Aliveness and Willingness
- Contentment and Satisfaction
- Sense of Belonging
- Abundance and Prosperity

Tanks I want to keep EMPTY as much as possible:
For the motorhome:
- Gray water, which holds water from the shower and the sinks
- Black water, the refuse from the toilet

In Life:
- Resentment
- Depression
- Guilt
- Shame
- Shoulds
- Needs
- Anger
- Grief
- Disappointment
- Regret

It's a continual process that needs to be monitored and corrected, whenever necessary.

- Matt

Open Up

"Let my love open the door, to your Heart"

- Pete Townsend

I am angry...

Q: What does the Bible say about anger?

(excerpt) "Answer: Handling anger is an important topic. One experienced counselor stated that 50% of the people who came in for counseling had problems with dealing with their anger. Anger can shatter communication and tear apart relationships and ruins both the joy and health of many. And most often people tend to justify their anger instead of accepting responsibility for it.

Anger turns to sin when it is selfishly motivated (James 1:20), when God’s goal is distorted (1 Corinthians 10:31), or when anger is allowed to linger (Ephesians 4:26-27). Instead of using the energy generated by anger to attack the problem at hand, one attacks the person instead.

One can properly handle anger by: (abbreviated list)
1) Recognizing and admitting one’s selfish anger and wrong handling of anger as sin (Proverbs 28:13; John 1:9).

2) Seeing God in the trial. This is especially important when people have done something to offend YOU specifically.

3) Make room for God’s wrath. This is especially important in cases of injustices, especially when done by “evil” men to “innocent” people.

4) Return evil for good (Genesis 50:21; Romans 12:21). This is key to altering our anger into love.

5) Communicate to solve the problem. There are four basic rules of communication shared in Ephesians 4:15,25-32:

5a) Be honest and speak (Ephesians 4:15,25). People can’t read our minds, but speak the truth IN LOVE.

5b) Stay current (Ephesians 4:26-27). Don’t “sand bag,” letting the list of what is bothering you build up until the “dam busts” and you lose your temper.

5c) Attack the problem, not the person (Ephesians 4:29,31).

5d) Act, don’t react (Ephesians 4:31-32).

6) Lastly you must act to solve your part of the problem (Acts 12:18).

read more...
http://www.gotquestions.org/anger.html

I am afraid...

We say: "I am afraid."
But the Bible says:

God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

- Timothy 1:7

http://www.carm.org/kjv/2Tim/2Tim_1.htm

Mental Illness Widespread

GLOBAL STUDY FINDS MENTAL ILLNESS WIDESPREAD

Mental illnesses are common and under-treated in many developed and developing countries, with the highest rate found in the United States (26.4 of people!), according to a study.

The most common ailments everywhere except Ukraine were anxiety disorders, which include panic attacks, phobias and post-traumatic stress disorder. (wow. all feeling-based disorders. think there's any need for teaching people how to Take Control of their Feelings & Emotions?)

full article: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5111202/

Our workshop:
New Directions: Break-through weekend workshop

Controlling your Heart

Wouldn't you love to have control over your Heart?

Wouldn't it be wonderful to Choose who you love, and how much, and when?

Wouldn't it be awesome to be able to Open up when it's safe and feels good, and to Close up when things aren't going well?

What an amazing skill, to be able to control yourself, your feelings, your heart, your love.

Sometimes it's NOT safe out there -- someone's mad at you, or having their own 'issues', or is actually looking for someone to blame / attack. There are times where we need to proctect ourselves -- both physically and emotionally.

Practice it. Hold hands with someone safe, and then Open up your heart -- on purpose, trust more, open up, allow, be vulnerable. Hold it for a minute or so. Then, practice Closing up your heart. Protect yourself. Become distant and aloof. Actually, care less. (you can do it... you may do it subconsciously, but you can do it).

We can learning a new tool: Choose how much we trust, whom we trust, and when.

If we have this skill -- to be Open and trusting and loving -- or Closed and protected and distant, we can actually Risk more in our relationships, knowing that if things don't go well, we can protect ourselves quickly and effectively.

Try it. and use it.