Emotional Intelligence 101: Taming the Beast Within!

Powerless --> Powerful

Continuum from Powerless to Powerful.

Panic

Terrified

Afraid

Nervous

- - -

AWARE, CALM & STRONG

- - -

On Guard

Tense

Fired Up

On the Attack

Balistic!

Why We Do What We Do -- 2 perspectives

At the MillionaireMind workshops, to explain to people

Harv Eker teaches TFAR.

Thoughts ---> Feelings - - -> Actions - - -> Results

We teach EMFB:

Event - - -> Meaning - - -> Feeling - - -> Behavior

both are correct.

Ours goes back to an identifiable event, or multiple events, that people experience, and then try to make some sense of. Our Meanings shape our lives, form our beliefs, effect our abilities and create (or don't create) our self-esteem. Like so many children, if painful live events happened to you that you couldn't stop or alter, then one of your life Meanings could easily be, "I am Powerless". This may have been true for that little kid, but if that Meaning is subconsciously brought into adulthood, this could effect all kinds of things in your life.

"So how does that Feel to be Powerless?"

The unxpressed Feelings are the glue that keeps our Meanings in place. They become our sensitive areas, "raw spots", issues.

His starts a little later, with Thoughts and Feelings. But he goes one step beyond by focusing on the Results... money, financial, success. He says "Hey, your Results are all that matters... not your Thoughts and your Feelings, those come and go and don't really Get us anywhere... it's your Results that count, in the long run."

... maybe we can learn from each other.

Before and After

"How it has become" (before ND)

forever ambiguous
never trying
nowhere flying
death becoming

time spying
love defying
caught in a trap
in a recursive misery
without a way out

remembering the past
living in a memory
foregoing the future
for moments that don't last

finding a song to pass
maybe a drink to last
without a hope or desire
trying to be an animal
fighting care and...fuck it

tears that burn
anger that churns
lost in hate
crossed with fate

this time it shall pass
for all this crass
typing for nothing
my world becoming
just another day closer to my last

looking for something
unhappy with everything
finding nothing
except dissapointment and pain

disallusioned
walking alone
I feel it sinking and rising
rising and sinking like a lunar tide

lunacy promising
what fear shouts
and hope truly doubts

lumps in my throat
for nothing more than a memory
all past
nothing that lasts
people ask why you are and where you came from

living in a cloak
afraid of a joke
wanting to cut a throat
and make a moat
and kill the bloke
stopped by fear of reproach

so here I just float
without a reason to go
or a feeling to glow
trapped and alone I grow

"Lincoln" (after)

I am finding out what life is

how it feels to feel
how it is to live

the pain of growing up
has ended

growth is not painful
choosing not to is

- by MW, 2004 ND graduate

Life is not a journey to the grave

Life is not a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely in
a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming --
"Whoa--What a Ride!!"

Ok and not Ok

Feelings expressed for the following reasons are fine:

- Clarity
- Release
- Acceptance
- Remove Judgments
- Go for deeper feelings (ex: express anger to get to the hurt underneath)

not Ok

- whining
- blaming (short-term is fine, in an effort to find your part in it all)
- one-up-manship / competition
- poor me (if you want people to feel sorry for you, you're not looking for results)
- victim (to explain how there really is Nothing you can do about it)

Blueprints of the Mind - money

Here's a link to a website that offers help with our beliefs, values, and experiences surrounding Money and wealth. They say that people base their decisions about money on what we saw, heard and experienced as a child (right on!).

They have a free audio seminar that's excellent -- check it out (the second half is selling you on their intensive, but the first half is powerful and educational).

www.MillionaireMind.com

Don't sin

"Don't sin by letting anger gain control over you. Think about it overnight and remain silent."

Psalm 4:4, NLT
more on what the Bible teaches us about Anger

Why workers need to have feelings

Article in BBC News: "Why workers need to have feelings"

Link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/3020953.stm

Intro: "If you want to get ahead in business nowadays, you will need more than a head. Research shows you will need a heart as well."

some Text: "One company which has turned to emotional intelligence to test candidates is cosmetics giant L'Oreal. It found that sales staff chosen on emotional intelligence sold goods worth almost $100,000 (£62,000) a year more than their colleagues, and far fewer quit their jobs early. This is because people with emotional intelligence "are more likely to be proactive than reactive", says Ms Buggy."

Conclusion: "Add emotional intelligence skills to your qualifications, get in touch with your feelings and those of your colleagues, and get ahead."

Cocky + Funny

I got this from a How to Get a Date site... which means it's their basic Law of Attraction.

The formula is:

COCKY+FUNNY

Cocky alone is not attractive. Arrogance repels people like bad breath. But a FUNNY arrogance... Ahhh, that's the stuff that miracles are made of.

from http://www.datingdummies.com/archive/article_9-17.htm

I'm all about...

... education
and awareness
and good
and love
and joy
and closeness
and openness
and having tools
and having choices
and being cool
and calm
and happy
and dealing with feelings
and learning about emotions

and togetherness
and partnering
and helping each other
and finding ways to be helpful

and abundance
and properity
and all that is good
and learning to fight
and choosing our battles
and learning to Win
and Winning!